Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Expressing My Sadness

My heart is bleeding so bad, so bad that everything seems meaningless to me
I have a voice, but I can’t voice out my problem, I have to keep it to my self
I am weak, but I have to pretend to be strong, to give encouragement
I cried only to myself, without anyone looking
I wipe my tears pretend to be strong again, deep down I know I’m so scare
My world has crumble and I don’t know what to do
Every second seems like a struggle to get past and is still hurting me
How I wish the problem had never happened, how I wish the problem can solve itself
I am so scare because I don’t know what to do
I am tired and sick of being given this journey to go through
It will scar my life forever even if the problem is solved.
How could this ever happen to me? Why has it happen to me?
Why is it that everything seems to be normal before and
This has to happen to mess everything up?
It seems to me that someone was looking at my life,
Everything was perfectly normal and happy, he then felt jealous and strike me the biggest punishment ever.
Enough about the sobbing and pain, let me stand up and face the problem.I really do hope it can be solved and I can be alright as soon as possible.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Into the Blogger's World

This is my first post of this web log, so here goes nothing!

My first experience with blog was actually a few months ago, randomly reading someone’s blog. I know what a blog was back few years ago, just never came across reading a blog before. I still remember when I first heard about what a blog was back then, I was asking myself

“What is so interesting about reading people’s diary?”

Until recently, after reading blog from sixthseal and xiaxue, they 2 have changed my perception of bloggin on the net. They talked about their everyday life, openly describing people food and everything. Just interesting to read all those unfortunate, fortunate incidents that had happened and how they deal with their everyday living. I do admit I got hooked on reading people’s blog, creating a habit of randomly reading blog every now and then.
Then after couple of reads from people’s blog, I thought to myself:

“why not create a blog for myself?” and that’s how it got started.

I hesitated a while before registering myself on to the net. Thinking all sort of question lilke
1. Am I prepare to openly talked about my personal thought regarding my friends and family?
2. I spend half of my awake time in my office working most of the week, so obviously I am going to talk a lot about work colleagues and how I hate work. What if someone from work accidentally stumble across my blog and saw all the shit that I wrote then the next day spread around in the office area. Wonder what they will say about it?
3. Same situation as above, but friends not work colleague. Do I or do I not freely bitch about him/her thinking that they might read my blog one day?

To be honest, while writing this blog, I still haven’t think of an acceptable answer for all 3 question above. I guess time will tell and when I have more post on this blog. I am taking it one step at a time.

One solid reason of starting this blog is, I wish to write down my life, so that in the future (say 5 years perhaps?), I can trace back and tell my son/daughter
: “Look look! That’s what I’ve done when I was xx age!!”
or even keep it as a personal diary entries is good enough for me.
Well…that’s all from me today!

“pshh…shhh…(radio static)
One small step for me, ~pshhh….~
one giant leap for ~Pshhhhh~
EnigmaKID.blogspot.com